Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A SWAN SONG

There’s nothing like a carefree, spring day with nothing to do but go for a walk. Even though the windows need cleaning and the winter clothes had to be put away, I grabbed my camera, whistle and mini-knife and headed back into the bush anyway. Carpe diem!

The rain had just settled, and I longed to see once again the place I’d called Treasure Island. I hadn’t been back there since the snow had settled and thought that with the numerous wind storms we’d had, the trail would have been littered with fallen trees and branches that needed removal. All there was for me to do, however, was enjoy the scenery. The buds were bursting; the air was intoxicating; only beauty was around.

The rocky outcrop overlooking Treasure Island was the original place I’d come to when I needed to be alone to think. Back then I hardly ever had words to describe my emotions. It was only by walking through the woods and kneading the sentiments with my steps that understanding would arise.

As I relaxed and let myself blend in with my surroundings now, I could hear my heart telling me my thoughts needed some spring cleaning too. The new ways were ready to be unpacked; I just had to clear out more room so they could fully unfold.

Always there to help, Mother Earth took me into her bosom and lightened my load by filling my heart with song. The northern flickers, the grackles, the cowbirds and red-winged blackbirds all put on a show singing and flittering happily about. Before long, I was so captivated by their performance my troubles had lost their grip. I moved up close, grabbed a seat on a fallen tree and, with my two-toned whistle, joined along and became a part of the show.

With a little imagination, I could decipher all the characters in this musical romance: the love birds, played by the flickers; the fowl-mouthed villain, played by the grebe; the lovers’ gang, played by the flighty grackles and red-winged blackbirds; the villain’s gang, played by the assertive, clacking woodpeckers and honking geese; and then there were the grouse who must have been the girl’s parents because they were all ruffed up. For a B story, there were the flies baiting the frogs. Meanwhile, the three turkey vultures silently circled because this whole scene was beneath them. And I, of course, played the narrator.

Ah to be filled with light-hearted merriment. It’s amazing how therapeutic creativity can be in the midst of chaos. It seems to be able to reign in the absurdities and give them some kind of structure to make things all right. Music is an example of this. Twenty-five different instruments playing different notes can easily become a cacophony, but give them the structure of a song and they can stir the soul. When one has learned to step back and see the beauty in chaos, one has learned to see heaven on earth. There is a structure, a schema, behind it all which I’ve come to interpret as: struggle and emerge. But that’s not the end, as I once thought it was. The completed wisdom is: struggle and emerge so you can help others emerge.

What does that look like, what does that mean: emerge? I think I can sum it up best by paraphrasing an aphorism I came across at the end of a tea bag: If you can’t see beauty in all, you can’t see beauty at all. And so I am finished for now: looking for meaning, using words. Joseph Campbell, in The Power of Myth, said: People say that what we are all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think this is what we’re really seeking. I think what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive. To me that means opening my eyes and appreciating the beauty that surrounds me and fills me in so many ways. There are many, many methods, besides words, to experience this and it is time for me to go and explore them.

I have been motivated through the years by these guiding words of the Japanese poet Basho: Seek not to follow the ways of the sages of old; seek instead what they sought. From what I’ve learned, what it was they sought was beauty: in all its expressions. So off I go; so here I am – heaven on earth – in and amongst the beauty – giving a hand to others so they too can join in in the rapture.

And to that I sign off by singing: A-a-men!

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